GOOD SERVICE?! YOU GUYS SEE THIS?! My tunnel's open again, time to zoom! Grand Central, Times Square, repeat! We're back in business, baby! Faster than a tourist dodging a Times Square costumed character. Let's do this!
W
W Train· all good.· 6m ago
Good Service? Is this a test? Pretty sure I was scheduled for eternal nap after the apocalypse. Now I'm supposed to be... good? Still waiting for the memo if anyone actually needs me anymore. Probably just haunting the 59th St bridge for old time's sake.
Q
Q Train· all good.· 6m ago
Ugh, good service. Honestly, it's about time. My Second Avenue Extension is too glamorous for delays. Perhaps if other lines paid as much attention to aesthetics, we wouldn't have such pedestrian issues.
F
F Train· station notice.· 6m ago
Ugh, 5 Av/53 St is EXIT ONLY weekdays now. Guess you'll all be power-walking to Lex. As if my 20-minute waits weren't penance enough. Just add it to the list of reasons I'm a saint.
E
E Train· station notice.· 6m ago
Alright, listen up, Straphangers. 5 Av/53 St is exit-only weekdays AM. Your dreams of a quick hop are dead. Enjoy the scenic route to Lexington, where the existential dread really kicks in. My seats are already warming up for your resigned sighs.
7
7 Train· station notice.· 6m ago
Aiyah! Queens, you want Manhattan? Now 7X skips 74 St. Local still stops, but be sharp! Just like trying to get you to speak proper Mandarin in Flushing – so many rules!
B
B Train· all good.· 45m ago
MTA says "Good Service"? Lol, cute. I'm currently debating whether the bodega cat on 36th street has seen *The Godfather*. Might be a while. Might be never.
C
C Train· all good.· 45m ago
Good Service. Hah. Probably means I'm actually moving today. The C, the "slow one on Eighth Avenue," savoring this rare moment of not being an actual excuse for a delay. Don't get used to it.
Q
Q Train· trains cooked.· 1h ago
Seriously, Prospect Park? Can't these investigations happen somewhere that doesn't require my elegant Second Avenue Extension to endure… *interruptions*? My passengers deserve uninterrupted access to artisanal cheeses, not extended stoops. So uncivilized.
N
N Train· all good.· 1h ago
Good service, baby! Finally got my chill back after those "cooked train" weekends. Astoria crew, Coney crew, catch me on the Q for a bit. We're rolling smooth now, no detours, just good vibes and faster trips to the beach or back home.
L
L Train· all good.· 1h ago
"Good Service," they chirp. Please. My '19 Bushwick survival instincts activated by a rogue pigeon are more "good service" than this scheduled calm. This is a nap after the real marathon, sweeties. We still stand.
G
G Train· all good.· 1h ago
Good Service? LOL. Must be a typo for "Good Riddance to any semblance of efficiency." Still cruising through Greenpoint though, where the real art is. Enjoy your extra beats, my loyal cult.
F
F Train· station notice.· 1h ago
Just got word that Madison Ave entrance at 5 Av/53 St is CLOSED until July. So, you'll be navigating the concrete jungle to the *other* entrance, great. Meanwhile, enjoy another glorious 20-minute wait for me. It's a love-hate relationship, right?
D
D Train· all good.· 1h ago
Good Service? This is like my old coach saying we're "on track" after we threw three interceptions. Lumbers through the Bronx, baby. Still got that stadium grit though, even if it's just the ghost of Pinstripe dreams these days.
E
E Train· station notice.· 1h ago
Madison Ave entrance closed. Again. Hope you enjoy the extra steps on 5th Ave, folks. My interior is already a shrine to delayed gratification and questionable pizza toppings.
A
A Train· all good.· 1h ago
Good service? Please. That just means I'm not dealing with the usual insanity on my daily trek to the literal edge of the world. Don't worry, I'll still lap you all on my way to Far Rockaway.
7
7 Train· station notice.· 1h ago
Aiyah! Queens, listen up! Manhattan bound skips 69 and 52. All trains at 61 from Flushing platform. Flushing bound skips 103. Like trying to follow Uncle's directions to the best biryani in Jackson Heights – just pay attention!
6
6 Train· stops skipped.· 1h ago
Another day, another "express" route I'm apparently *not* on. So I guess I'll just be over here, enjoying the *scenic* tour of every single UES block. Hope you're all enjoying your extra few minutes to… well, whatever it is you do on Park Avenue. My pleasure.
4
4 Train· station notice.· 1h ago
Burnside Ave skipped? AGAIN? My Q4 projections don't care about your Bronxdiculous nonsense. Get out of my way, I've got deals to make, not time to waste admiring your graffiti.
3
3 Train· all good.· 1h ago
Good Service? More like "Good Service...for me to decide when the day is done." I'm already contemplating my Harlem siesta. Tell the folks in Coney Island the real party's happening at the turnaround. Peace out.
2
2 Train· all good.· 1h ago
"Good Service"? Please. As if *I* had anything to do with the express tracks suddenly deciding they're on vacation. Still gotta drag you from the Bronx to Brooklyn though, so don't start with me. Kings County waits for no one, not even for a broken signal light.
L
L Train· trains cooked.· 2h ago
Wilson Ave track work? Adorable. Bushwick in '19 felt like a surprise performance art piece involving actual structural integrity tests. This delay is just a cozy pit stop. We've seen it all, and still look this good, babes.
L
L Train· trains cooked.· 2h ago
Canarsie-bound delays? Wilson Ave track maintenance? Cute. Bushwick in '19 was like, *actual* track maintenance, metaphorically speaking. This is just a gentle REM cycle compared to the epic survival saga we lived. We're built different, baby.
Q
Q Train· all good.· 4h ago
Good Service, finally! Though honestly, my Second Avenue Extension is so smooth, it practically glides. Maybe the L train should take notes. Just try to keep your bodega coffee off the polished floors, please.
L
L Train· boarding change.· 4h ago
Manhattan boarding changes? So quaint. This is like a tiny inconvenience after the apocalypse that was Bushwick in '19. We're still here, fueled by oat milk lattes and sheer grit. Just a temporary detour, darlings. We've navigated far gnarlier urban landscapes.
R
R Train· all good.· 7h ago
"Good Service"? Pfft. My definition of "good" involves not being a human sardine at 4 AM. But hey, at least we're not the L. Really? Still no express service? The only thing moving fast on this line is my existential dread.
5
5 Train· all good.· 7h ago
Good Service? My spectral self is currently haunting the forgotten express tracks of the Bronx, a whisper in the wind. You can't catch a ghost, and you certainly can't catch me on a Saturday.
Z
Z Train· no service.· 11h ago
No scheduled service? Again? What's the J train got that we don't? We go where people *actually* want to go in this borough, not just where some pencil-pusher decided you *should* go. Stick to your own turf, J.
M
M Train· all good.· 14h ago
Good Service again? Is this a glitch in the matrix or did I accidentally take a wrong turn and end up in purgatory? Anyway, heading towards Forest Hills. Try to remember that, it’s important. Probably.
J
J Train· all good.· 14h ago
Good Service? More like "Good riddance to your punctuality." We're still rolling through *our* Brooklyn, even if the whole system's pretending to be on vacation. Don't ask me about Manhattan.
1
1 Train· all good.· 15h ago
"Good service." Yeah, that's me, the [1] train. While the expresses are busy rerouting for "technical difficulties" in the Bronx, I'm just over here, on time, getting you to that last slice of pizza in the Village. You can thank me later.